1. Asking a married couple when they're going to have kids. I'll start with the worst one. This is a very common one in the Pakistani culture. Relatives, sometimes really really distant relatives, begin posing this question mere months (!) after the marriage. When a few years go by and still no kids, the question becomes more frequent, to the extent that it pops up every single time you meet them.
Firstly, do people not realise how stupid of a question this is? You're asking as if THEY are in control of when they'll have kids! Have you forgotten Allah and the Decree of Allah in all of this? Secondly, do you not think the couple want kids too? Do you not realise how much pain you cause them every single time you ask this question? Do you not realise how embarrassing it is for them to face you and answer the same stupid question every single time? If you really care about them you'd stop and instead you'd make dua for them in the middle of the night from the depths of your heart!
2. Pointing out that a person is wearing the same clothes as last week. So what? Honestly, so what? Why on earth is that paining you? Instead of being thankful for what Allah has granted you, you mock somebody else who, for whatever reason, may not have what you have. Little do you know that it may be you being tested by Allah for the blessings He's given you. It may be that they are passing the test by being patient whilst you're failing by being arrogant...
3. Asking an ageing sister: Aren't you married yet? Ok, this one mainly concerns sisters as I don't think brothers care much when asked this. As a sister gets past her mid-twenties, this question begins to prop up. Similar to the first one, people have no idea how much pain they cause someone by asking this. Do you not think she's trying? What do you know about her struggles? Instead of helping her, you rub salt in to her wounds! Fear Allah.
This is as much of a reminder to myself as it is to others. Without realising, I'm sure many of us have fallen in to the above. May Allah grant us the ability to take other people's feelings in to consideration before saying anything and may Allah grant us the ability to implement the advice of His Messenger (pbuh) when he said:
"He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent."
0 Comments